there’s a nice lady from Rotterdam that just found me on instagram and named me sweetie too. I told her how nice is e-meet nice people on social sometimes. If she uses sweetie as I did/do with you she should be great.
I’m dizzy. I’m taking those medication that really spit my life out of me. I can’t listen to music. I have kinda one of those bunnies we saw outside our last hotel biting my brain. It’s painful, and strange. I’m full of these drugs and I know that seeing a concert in a part of Sonar will be very difficult: not for recreational drugs, but for visuals.
D’you know when you ask me if it hurts and I answered no? I lied. It hurts like hell. On the other side you even answer “I won’t” to mine “Don’t abandon me whatever happens between us”. And instead you did.
Fuck, I hate cannot write to you and to that all in public… I really hate that. But well, what the heck I have to hide? Nothing. Nothing that Shakespeare already wrote, or similar.
I need to hear you, I told you what your voice do to me:
I’m talking a lot about you with mommy. I spent so much time doing that. Fortunally she knows that I’m anticonformistic. And I think that she really is the first that believes me that I didn’t have expectation. No one except not being abandoned, or shut up everything. I have explain her the idea of us same soul split in two corps or similar as we said there:
And well she said: “what can I say, should be”. I don’t know. I still believe that if we have a contact we can cure somewhat eachother. Not for the bunny in the brain, but for all the rest of disfuntional (is it english?) things. Even if the things that still really terrify me is when you were in car and you yelled at me. In that way neither my dad did that. How much your black in yours can be more evil than mine, hun? Only that worry me. I don’t mind a fuck if you now say I’m crazy and a liar to your friend: mechanism of defence. But really, maybe I was only wrong that my automasochist black was similar to yours. And this can frightened me.
Kiss the kids, and go more often to shrink.
Ti voglio bene. F.